Priority Setting: FREE Special Report!

Having trouble setting your priorities and getting things done?

Get this FREE special report and use the 40+ tips from experts around the country (including me!). I was asked recently to participate in a “round up” of Professional Organizing experts to come up with one favorite tip for setting priorities. Stephanie Calahan of Calahan Solutions put together this incredible report, and I’m thrilled to be a part of it.

“Priority Setting – Working On The Right Things” is now available for download. Take charge of your life – and learn from the pros!

P.S. Look for my tip on page 13!

What’s important to YOU is what you should do . . .

I don’t send holiday cards. I don’t send birthday cards. Nor do I send cards for any occasion other than when I want to communicate via a personal note. This is because I don’t really care if I receive cards, and because I suck at remembering dates like birthdays (forgot my husband’s birthday last year – that was a bit embarrassing). I’d rather send a card when I want and when I think the recipient will really appreciate the gesture. Not because the greeting card industry wants me to send one on a manufactured holiday like Mother’s Day or that ‘everyone’ sends Christmas cards. Now, I do know there are services to help you remember and even send out the cards. But how much thought is really there? I had to decide that unless it was truly important to me and to the card recipient, it wasn’t worth stressing over it.

As I’ve gotten older, I’m starting to really listen to my gut more. And my gut tells me, besides that I should start exercising more, that life is too short to do things that I really don’t want to do if they are not critical to my survival. I found trying to remember the dates, get the cards, make them nice, sign them all was just stressful. They didn’t have any personal meaning to me and I was doing them ‘just because’. This isn’t good enough any more.

Here’s some of what I’ve heard from my clients that fit in this category of “I should’s”:

• volunteering to chair an event for your child’s school
• making Thanksgiving dinner every year for the significant other and their whole family
• signing up for “Music, Mommy & Me” every Thursday morning
• networking at the Chamber of Commerce and every business group in town
• blogging and twittering and Linking In
• scrubbing the floors every Tuesday and doing laundry every Saturday

So, this post is about looking at the commitments in your life and examining them. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Do I really enjoy it?
• Does it really need to be done, and are you the only one who could do it?
• Am I doing it because I want to or because I feel that I should?
• Is what I’m doing the best use of my time for my business or personal life?
• Does it fit in my budget?
• Will it truly matter to anyone else if it gets done?
• Is it part of a routine that doesn’t fit your lifestyle but you’ve always done it that way?

If it is something that helps your business grow, gives you personal satisfaction, or enhances your life – go for it. It may not be what your friends do, or what you think other people perceive as being ‘correct’, but if it is what works for you – then it’s the right thing.

Some of my choices get me good natured teasing from friends who don’t share my enthusiasm for making homemade gravies and stews, for reading voraciously, for putting all my stuff in bins and labeling them, for picking up garbage on the banks of the Harpeth River, for twittering constantly, for hanging out at the dog park for hours on end. That’s ok. I respect my friends and business acquaintances’ choices, and expect them to do the same. And you know what? They do. In fact, the level of respect is fairly high because I enjoy what I am doing and am confident in my choices.

So what things are you doing that are “I should” instead of “I want to?” Those things that are done out of obligation or fear of not fitting in or because you’ve always done them are time wasters, time suckers and a significant cause of stress for most people. Really look at what you do with your time, and make changes that suit you. If you always do laundry on Saturdays but never enjoy a weekend, make the change to do it one evening during the week (and make the kids help!). If you think that you need to twitter because it’s the new ‘in’ thing but it won’t benefit your business or personal life (or give you a migraine every time you tweet), why bother? Do what works for YOU.

Some key signs that a task or commitment is not for you:

• sinking of the stomach
• headaches and back tension
• a nagging feeling in the back of your mind
• procrastination and avoidance
• complaining about it to a friend
• obsessing about perfection
• regret after you say “yes”

Make the decision, and make the choice, to say “no” and take obligations off of your plate that don’t serve your best interest. Some things can’t be avoided, and many shouldn’t. But there are things in everyone’s life that just take up space and could free up time you could spend doing something you really love. Your time is valuable – and focusing on the important things: family, friends, business, and things that give you joy makes the difference between having a life and living it.

feeling out of sorts

My husband recently took a new position with a great company called Conservation Services Group. They do home energy audits and other energy related things, and recently took a contract with TVA to work with local energy companies. This is all great – we’ve closed his inspection company and he’s full time with CSG now. It’s been a lot of work closing the company but we’re just about done, plus we recently switched banks as well so that’s been a handful

I’m usually pretty good with change but all of this has put me off my stride a bit. It’s funny because I have things pretty well organized, as you would expect, so that when all of these little things keep popping up that I’ve not planned for – well, when there are so many of them – it’s getting to me a bit.

I’m thrilled about Bill’s new job, and he’s really enjoying it. The part that is getting to me, I think, is that we used to communicate all day – just checking in, saying hi, touching base. Now, he’s not really available and I miss him. I thought I’d be relieved but it’s hard to get used to.

With his company gone, I’m also at some loose ends. I have more time now to work on my company, which is going well, but I’m at a weird turning point of an end and a new beginning. Things with the old company aren’t completely wrapped up, and I can’t completely focus on the where I want to go.

I think I need a little vacation. Hmmm . . . I think that’s the ticket. Maybe a complete mental break (not a breakdown!) would be beneficial. I had an email from a friend who is also feeling out of sorts – some family issues and a recent decision to home school a child, and another who is having some financial and marital issues with a husband out of work. I think I need to call a margarita night – only those who want to gripe and complain are invited. We’ll have a major bitch session and get it all out of our systems. Maybe even come up with some solutions but I suspect just venting will be enough.

I’m at a point where a lot of my clients have been and it’s humbling and eye opening . . . as well as a learning process. Luckily, I’ve got more resources than many do with my knowledge, my family, my circle of friends and business acquaintances that I can move on but it’s an odd place to be . . . out of sorts.

To Facebook or Not To Facebook . . . That Is The Question.

I’ve been invited to join Facebook about a dozen times over the last few weeks. “Friend” me, they say. Some actually are friends, some are business acquaintances, some relatives. I keep wondering – do I give myself a “face” or not.

At this point, I”m thinking not. My friend, Angela, keeps asking why not so I really had to think, well why not. Can’t be that hard – seems like everyone is on it. Then I started thinking, well, there’s one more thing I have to keep up with and do I really want to.

I’ve got Active Rain for real estate stuff, Linked In for business stuff, and my own blog for my company stuff. I’ve got everyone I need to talk to on my Outlook, photos go to Snapfish, and I can send out business announcements through Constant Contact. I just don’t think I want to have one more site I have to keep tabs on. Plus, do I really want my pictures and whereabouts out there and have to divulge my personal thoughts where they will be on display, permanently? I know, I can make them private or only for a select few. But then, what’s the point? I can communicate with those “select few” when I want to – it’s part of being a friend so I’d better make the effort or I won’t have any friends. And do I really want people from my past stalking me, as has happened recently to a good friend of mine. A guy from high school keeps trying to “friend” her and no matter how many times she ignores him – he just doesn’t get the hint. More stress than I need, I’m thinking.

I may change my mind but for now I think I don’t need one more thing going on that I have to maintain. Unless anyone can convince me it’s SO worthwhile, I think I’ll pass for now.

bizarre happenings at the dog park and you just never really know who people are, do you?

I go to the dog park 3 or 4 times a week keep our 2 year old lab busy and occupied so I can actually get some work done in my home office. She usually perks up around 3:45 because she knows our daughter gets home on the bus and there’s a really good chance we’ll be heading over there.

I’ve been going there for over a year, since we got LuLu, and have met some great people. You know – you stand around watching the dogs play – or in my case – continually throw a tennis ball with the Chucker (if you don’t have one of these – get one NOW!). I never really knew the true meaning of the breed of “retriever” til LuLu showed up in our house. But I digress.

I had met a lovely woman at the dog park with a delightful and well mannered golden retriever named Molly. We’d see each other often and chat about what’s going on in Franklin and how’s life. She even hosted a dog park Christmas party at her house this year. A huge house too – 5000 square feet plus a 3500 square foot finished basement in a pretty exclusive neighborhood. We had a great time – and she was a delightful host. Bunch of dogs came – imagine 25 people and lots of food with 2 enormous yellow labs and 2 enormous golden retrievers, plus one frisky kitten, running around checking out the munchies.

Anyway, I’m reading the paper a few weeks later, and who do I see but Molly’s mom under a heading of “Franklin woman sought in embezzlement case”. Apparently she is accused of defrauding a bunch of people and something about mortgage fraud as well. I saw her picture and thought, I know this woman! At least I thought I did.

I brought her up (not by name) in my recent seminar about time management and setting priorities. I used her as an example of being true to yourself because no one really knows who you are – only you do. Too many people worry about what others might think or imagine others as being better at everything than they are – and use it as an excuse not to achieve a goal or make a change in their lives. Well, you just don’t know what others do in their private life, do you? Everyone puts on a show and a facade. I have made it a goal of mine to have my outer persona match my inner self. This is really tough to do. This woman did a great job concealing who she really is. I guess my point is – don’t try to live up to what you THINK others are – be yourself, and be the best self you can.

This experience of meeting her, thinking she was a lovely person, then finding out what was behind the image she portrayed really hit me and a lot of others at the dog park. It’s been a hot topic of conversation as you can imagine but no one knows where she is or all the details. I could be completely wrong about her – I never like to assume the worst. Most of us are primarily worried about her 2 kids, Molly and the kitten to tell the truth. I hope it all gets sorted out.